Sometimes I cannot help wonder...

What would I be if everything that happened never did? I wonder if my soul would change to someting less sinister, someting less cynical, something more... human.

If all those actions towards me never scarred my heart and soul. If I were strong enough to not care, to not feel.

It does not even matter anymore, all those thoughts are in vain. I am who I am, and feel what I feel. I do what I do and reason the way I do. Nothing will change back to my old self, as if this existance could be more true?

No matter, all I want right now in this moment is this to give me my auditory orgasm:


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